Mi Usini Advice

It's not a rant, I just thought it would be a great title for this piece.

You know that feeling when someone starts giving you life advice and, mid-sentence, you realize they haven’t actually figured out their own situation? It’s a bit of an underrated superpower, but knowing when to ignore people is probably one of the most important skills you can develop.

The general rule is pretty simple: If that person isn’t where you want to be, you can probably tune them out.

I remember sitting down a while back with someone who had a lot to say about my writing. They spent a good hour breaking down my “pacing,” telling me my characters weren’t “relatable” enough, and suggesting I should focus on more “marketable” themes.

For a second, I actually started doubting myself. But then I took a beat and realized: this person has never actually finished a script. They’ve never stared at a blank page at 2:00 AM trying to make a scene work, and they’ve definitely never put their work out there to be judged by an audience.

It was a classic case of a spectator trying to coach the player from the seats. They weren’t speaking from experience; they were speaking from an imagined version of how they thought things should work. Once I realized their “wisdom” had no foundation, the weight of their critique just evaporated.

It sounds harsh, but it’s necessary. Why would you take financial tips from someone who’s always broke? Or listen to business “secrets” from someone who’s never actually built a company?

It applies to everything—parenting, fitness, even your career. We often listen to people just because we respect them or because they’ve been around longer, but authority doesn’t equal expertise. Just because your mum, your uncle, or a colleague says something with total confidence doesn’t make it a fact for your life. They might love you, but that doesn’t mean they have the map to where you’re trying to go.

The trickiest advice-giver, though, is usually yourself. We all have these “rules” in our heads about how things should work, but have you ever stopped to ask: Where did this opinion even come from? Is it actually yours, or is it just something you heard so many times growing up that you started believing it? Before you let a thought talk you out of a big move or a creative risk, ask yourself if you actually trust its credibility. If that “inner voice” is just echoing someone else’s old fears or a teacher’s narrow-mindedness from ten years ago, it’s okay to tell it to be quiet.

The hardest part is “unlearning” the stuff that came from the wrong people. For a lot of us, it’s that classic advice to “play it safe and wait your turn.” When you really look at who says that, it’s usually people who are afraid of taking risks themselves. They aren’t trying to help you succeed; they’re projecting their own anxieties onto you. They want you to stay in the “safe zone” because your ambition makes their comfort feel a bit too much like stagnation.

At the end of the day, you can love the person and still completely disregard their opinion. Your life isn’t a group project—you’re the one who has to live with the results, so you might as well be the one making the calls.

Have you ever had someone try to “correct” you on something you actually do for a living while they just watch from the sidelines?